snob...continued (1)

so, to give some background i work at my job fri-sunday 8-5. no breaks. which is cool. cuz he pays. if you eat lunch in less than 15 minutes he'll pay you for 9 hours and it's a cool deal but the guy has some issues.

and frankly, working there has actually shown me how i've dealt with some of my issues over the years. cuz frankly if i worked for him 10 years ago we would have either killed each other or i would have been a complete sobbing mess everyday afterwork.

oh yes, very path-a-tique i was

so apparently i can tolerate him and i haven't progressed enough to tolerate stupid people. sadly. cuz seriously, they're very nice, just no common sense. so maybe it's not necessarily stupidity, but a COMPLETE lack of common sense. which apparently still drives me crazy

back to my boss though.

it's a simple job. people come there to pick berries. they come in the store, you tell them what's ripe, you tell them where to pick those ripe berries, if there is something special about the berry you impart that wisdom on the picker, you explain which containers to use and for what purpose, and then explain the cost of picking berries.

pretty straightforward.

then when it's slow there is a list of things to do when it's slow. such as clean, stock, trash, all typical things for a food(semi) service job. and, frankly, i ROCK at customer service.

which proves to be a dichotomy in my personality considering i hate people and all but for some reason my whole freakish pleasing personality that was borne out of trying to survive an abusive step-father and thinking the key to happiness/protection was in pleasing my mother i became one customer service SUPERSTAHHH! and, of course, in my younger years, EXTREMELY sensitive to any failures in that regard.

so now, all of 36 years old and working for the extra cash so i can pay my bills, go to school, and do my research: i work. just like i did from the age of 16 to about 2 years ago (when i started grad school). and again, now. seriously, it's a perfect job for me, it doesn't interfere with my school schedule nor my research and i make good money. i make more money working 3 days a week on a farm than i did as a "professional graphic artist" 40 hours a week.

feel the justice

heh

so my boss. i do believe this man is a good man in his heart. and i do believe that i can forgive him his eccentricities and his analness because i think i see him as the type of person i [i]could[/i] have been, the type of person i was afraid i would end up like. i could still end up like him, but i feel at this point i still have some time to make more corrections, if that makes sense. he is extremely intelligent, works his ass off, and for the most part, very committed to customer service. we'll get to "for the most part" eventually.

ok, i'm going to post this now and continue with how i want this to go later but i don't want to lose this for now so here it goes... *presses publish*

ewwwwwwwwwwww

ok, one of my favorite blogs, and frankly one of the blogs that inspired me to start one of my own www.tequilamockingbird.blogspot.com is having some troubles. i mean brian lamb of last year was tame compared to the crazy broad that's currently plagiarizing her and a bunch of other cool sites.

and i had fully intended on writing about that here because the more info i get on the twat that's causing problems the more i fear her. she's CA-RAZ-AY! for reals

anyway, the point of this post right here is to tell you something ickier! i'm housesitting and i dumped coffee on my keyboard this morning (more later) and so i'm usng their KICKASS iMAC with DSL to get on the internet. so i don't have her (jules-tequila...can i call ya jules? anyway...) bookmarked and so i typed in her url and i made a TRAGIC spelling mistake:

http://tequilamockingbird.blogsot.com/ (note the missing "p" in blogspot)

and got some bible studies site. and not just ANY bible studies site but the MEGA site of bible studies

wtf?

so then i thought well they can't have bought all the blogging sites with their individual names so i figure they bought www.blogsot.com AND THEY DID!!!!! so i guess a mis-spelling of a blogger site using blogsot (i haven't investigated any other mis-spellings) takes you RIGHT to

MEGA SITE OF BIBLE STUDIES AND INFORMATION

and i'm sorry

that's worse than porn

i think i'm a snob

i've been thinking lately that i'm not a nice person because i've come to the realization that i have more patience with intelligent, mean people than i do with super nice stupid people.

what's up with that?

and sometimes i think it's awful, but then i'm with a stupid person and i think, damn you've done this one hundred gabillion times and you still can't manage to do it right. and then they're super nice to you and you feel like shit for having been irritated with them.

and don't get me wrong, i think mean people suck, but for some reason i tolerate the occasional mean-ness of a really intelligent person than the stupidity of a nice person.

for example, my boss can be a dick. and passive aggressive. and condescending. but he's really smart. and he is capable once in awhile of being nice, the magnanimous prick...heh but i am certainly less annoyed with him than i am with the other girl that works there. she's really nice, and she never gets snippy back when i am irritated but damn she can be stupid.

and i'm laughing right now because i can't think of an example. i've been thinking about writing this post for a couple of days and i had examples in mind. and even yesterday she did something and i thought, heh you gotta write that post. and now, no examples.

now, who's the dink?

i ask you: freak or dork?

i've decided i do a lot of things that maybe i could be considered a freak or a dork. but i can't decide. so let me know...

this is only mildly freakish or dorkish but it may give you insight into helping decide.

i am working on two computers side by side and they each have their own mouse near each other. trying to make a long story short. i took my dell laptop (which i hate) to mexico while i was in the field working on my project. someday i'll tell you how i was bullied into buying this little piece of "dude you're going to hell" instead of the ibook i wanted but i digress. so after every dive i downloaded my digital pictures onto the computer and stored them there. and they neatly go into their own little folder that is created everytime you download them. so when i came back these kickass pictures will go into a new update of my book that i'm writing and replace old assy pictures or just add a new and wonderful color digital photo to it. eventually i would like to have a photo or a drawing (my own thankyouverymuch) for each species in the book.

so i burnt all the photos to 3 cd's so that i can put them in the book which has been designed and built on my mac G3 laptop. but when i burned them to disk each photo is represented by a quicktime icon and so when i'm on the mac i can't see what i want to open and adjust colors and file size so i have the cool nikon viewer open on my dell so that i know which file to open instead of scrolling through and opening each of the 3000 pics i took. so i look for the photo on the dell then i call that number up on my mac and then i bring it into photoshop, make it purtier, change the file size, rename it and save it.

so i've noticed that when i'm working in photoshop on the mac which is on the right and then i need to, sayyyy, check my email which is on the dell and i take the mouse i'm holding for the mac and i try to scroll it really far left so that it will jump on to the pc and i can control the pc too. now i KNOW that this won't work and it's not like i do it because i think oh i'll try this, but i do it because i'm rolling around on the mac screen with the mouse doing cool photoshoppy things and then my email buzzes or monkey comes online and so i scroll hard left to try to push the button in the taskbar. and i realize that as many times as it has happened, i am still confused for a second when i can't figure out why the damn thing won't scroll over there onto the other computer screen.

and then i realize what i'm doing.

and then i think "DORK!"

but i don't know. you tell me.

freak or dork

you EEEEEEEEDIOT

so i'm all stoked that i not only baked some of my otoliths and got them ready to take in to the guy who is going to help me section and polish them i also baked some loganberry tarts for my friends.

and how did i manage both those feats? well, i was so proud that i could bake the otoliths at 325 degrees for 25 minutes whilst preparing the loganberry, sugar, cornstarch mixture and putting the crust in the mini pie tins and then when the otoliths were done, i could simply raise the temperature to 350 degrees and stick in the pies.

right?

WRONG!

we start sectioning the otoliths today and they guy is saying, well, damn i don't see a thing they described (the opague rings turn yellow, and the hyaline rings turn dark), we're seeing slightly yellow tinged somethings but not that so he says are you sure it was 325? not 350? and i said yeah, i have the paper right here...

starts to read out loud firm in the belief that i am fully right when i say "heating the otoliths at 325 Celsius for 25 min was the combina...oh shit!"

CELSIUS!!!

CELSIUS!!!!

gaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwdammit!

me smart. me scientist.

adventures in cell phones and flat tires

so last week my boss offers to buy me a new phone if i switch over to cingular since he has a cingular tower on his property and my at&t phone won't get reception there. and i thought this incredibly ironic considering that monkey wanted me to buy a new phone because the battery won't hold a charge anymore, and i tried to explain to her that phones aren't cheap and they don't give away phones unless you sign up for new contract.

sooooooo i thought what the hell i'll do it. so i call cingular and ask them some questions and ask if they have a plan similar to mine. i also inform them that at&t is offering to give me 350 more minutes for the same price if i sign a year contract. she says to me that cingular doesn't have that plan and that at&t is trying to keep as many people as possible and to sign up new people because the acquisition price depends upon how many subscribers at&t have. and she says if you have at&t you should have access to that tower because we have a roaming agreement. i tell her that in fact i don't get reception there. i can stand 20 feet from the tower and no reception.

so i go to cingular, sign up for the 600 anytime minutes with the rollover, unlimited nights and weekends and free mobile to mobile and get this kickass little flip phone with a color screen and i'm stoked.

until i get home.

i get no reception anywhere near my house. not even like 5 miles within my house. i used to get perfect reception all around, just not at work, which is heading up the mountain. so i'm bummed and monkey is definitely not happy. which of course makes me feel once more, thanks for reminding me i can't do anything right. appreciate it. like it's my fault and i KNEW before i bought it i wouldnt' have reception. i mean, think about it, if i'm signing up to EXPAND my reception, i don't think i'm going to lose reception. but whatever. i fucked up, apparently.

but i figure, it's a cool new phone and maybe if cingular is going to acquire at&t those towers will come under cingular. but then that's when i learn that there's a little something different going on.

i have a TDMA phone. i have no idea what that stands for. what i do know is that it's the old digital network that was nationwide by at&t and i got reception pretty much everywhere.

all the cingular towers are GSM. i have no idea what that stands for, global something monster whatever. all the new phones availabe through cingular and at&t are GSM. which is the new global network but has a much smaller coverage area because they have less towers.

so i didn't think it was a big deal until i needed to make some long distance phone calls from my house and i couldn't because...I DON'T GET CELL RECEPTION HERE and i don't have long distance on my land line. so i thought fuck it. i need to call at&t and see if i can get my old contract back but first i call cingular to find out if they know if these old towers will come under cingular. she doesn't know because everything's going GSM and those are TDMA towers blahblahblah. if i return everything within 15 days i'm clear with cingular

so i call at&t and say i tried cingular, it sucks i get no reception at my house if i come back to at&t do i have to pay all that initiation fee crap? no she tells me! NO. I. DO. NOT! at&t has a 30 day "buyer's remorse" program that you can come back to your old contract no hassle within 30 days of cancelling.

AWESOME! i said hook me up beeeeyotch!

so she does. and i guess the deal is that when you keep your number they "port" it. whatever that means. so while they're "porting" you can receive calls on one phone and make calls on the other phone so you need both phones they tell you for 24 hours.

well, the cingular phone deactivated within 2 hours. the at&t phone never activated.

but wait it gets better.

i'm driving to costco on my way home from davis. i have to pick up sodas for the store so i pull off the freeway. as i'm exiting my car feels very strange. i'm holding the steering wheel straight, but i can feel the car swerving on it's own. wtf?

so i get to costco and think what's up with my front tires? so i check them and they look fine. then this guy walks up to me and says you drove right by me and your right rear tire is really flat. and i walk over there and holy shit it's FLAT. and he says maybe you should go over to the tire center and have them put air in it. and i'm looking at that tire thinking, yeah RIGHT. that's going to hold air. but i hope. mostly because i wanna sell the car and i don't want to put new tires on it and then sell it right away! sheesh

so i go over there and they come over and take one look at the tire and say no way that holds air. so they say when you replace a tire we recommend you replace two at a time if you can't replace all four. well, hell, why don't i just do TEN! seeing as how i have NO money in the bank after paying all my bills and NO money coming in for september because my funding doesnt' start in NOVEMBER. no sweat!

but they were very nice really so i didn't say any of that to them. and they looked at my other tires and said, sure you don't want all four done? i almost said, well i don't have the money for the check i'm about to write you for two...

so $170 later i have two new back tires. and all i have to say is that i'm so glad that i had already pulled off the freeway when it went flat because i have triple A but i didn't have the card with me and i also had TWO PHONES THAT DID NOT WORK!

YES!

hee hee

it worked

now to regular posting

one more time

testing

update: bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!

WHY WON'T THE COMMENTS WORK? I DID WHAT THEY SAID.

dammit

testing

did it work

too tired to type

oh man i can't believe the last half of this day. i just got home. it's 9 pm. i'm starving, i'm exhausted and i guess i'll have to write about it tomorrow cuz as soon as this window popped up i realized i don't have the energy to type it.

*sigh*

tired of being tired

but at least i had no nightmares last night. that was pleasant.

the other nights were bad. with their nightmare baddy-ness. the first night (or early morning) it was awful. it was a kind of dream within a dream. i was not in my room but definitely in my grandma's house and i was on a bed that was not my real bed but in the dream it definitely felt like i was in my room and in my bed but none of it resembled my real room or bed in real life...make sense? no? heh

anyway, i was in the bed and i didn't have the blankets over my shoulders (in the dream) and then it felt like something invisible was grabbing me and holding me and i was thinking "SHIT! my shoulders arent' covered with the blankets no wonder it can grab me! always ALWAYS ALWAYS! cover your shoulders with the blankets." so i'm trying to yell for help and it's hurting me but in a weird way. i can feel it grabbing and it feels like when someone pinches your shoulder at your collarbone and it's like pinching a nerve or something and i can't make it stop and i'm trying to yell and then i guess i hear myself yelling/moaning in real life which wakes me up in my real bed and my real room and my shoulder feels weird and i lay there disoriented and upset and of course too freaked to fall back asleep.

why is it when you have a great dream and you go back to sleep right away you can't get right back to what was happening in the great dream (especially sex dreams) but when you fall right back asleep after a nightmare you go RIGHT BACK INTO THE GODDAMN NIGHTMARE!??? NOT FAIR I TELL YOU!

so i laid there awhile scared and trying not to fall back asleep right away afraid i'll go back in to the nightmare but i'm sooooooo tiiiiiiirrrred.

so then the next night i'm having another bad dream. kinda the same situation where nothing in my dream looks like it does in my real life but for some reason i recognize that it is my old house. it's a very weird thing to explain. anyway, someone is trying to kill me. i don't know them but they keep attacking me and i keep fending them off and i'm trying to get people to help me. like hey this crazy person is attacking me look please help and like my mom and people don't believe me, even though in the dream they're watching this crazy person attack me too. so it's weird. so finally the person comes back and is in more a monster form but it's them and they try to attack me but this time i reach and there are arrows. no bow but just arrows and i stab this thing over and over and it's not fighting me at all now just letting me stab it and it's looking at me like why are you killing me? and it dies and i'm standing there feeling awful. like omg you were attacking me and i'm scared of you and you keep coming back but then it just let me kill it. and i'm thinking why did it just let me kill it? what's going on here?

so i woke up all freaked out and disoriented and feeling like i really killed someone. very unsettling.

so last night no bad dreams but not any good sleep either. and so now i'm like probably a week or so behind on my sleep and i'm just so tired. no energy. no motivation. i don't even have the energy or motivation to do my normal procrastinating things like read. i start to read and i'm like meh. which is odd for me. i like to read things i don't need to read. heh

oh and theresa my best friend

bought me this book

i am woman hear me bleed

gross i know

but you know what? if i have to suffer then all of you (heh) have to. this just sucks. but it also helps explain the complete emotional breakdowns i've been having lately. of course, there were other factors involved, serious ass fucking factors involved, but still. i didn't enjoy the tailspin thankyouverymuch

so, now i'm trying to just move forward, knowing that my grade was changed, knowing that i'll be changing advisors and knowing i keep my funding. i'm trying to stay focused on these positive things. it's hard, but i'm trying.

so now i have to finish putting the new photos in the book, make some copy changes, print it out and have it bound for the conference coming up.

i have to prepare my otoliths and start counting rings and entering and analyzing my transect data. hopefully i'll be able to present that in november.

i just looked at the calendar and with my funding changing, things are going to be TIGHT. my current funding ends aug. 30 and my new funding doesn't start until NOVEMBER 1ST!!!! auauuuuuuughhhhhhh!!!!

thank goodness for the berry farm or i would fuck-ed. i'm just glad i don't have classes fall quarter. i may have to take the stats class over in the winter, you know the one that i almost failed becuase i was spending to much monkey time and not enough homework time....

lol

hee

bitchy i know

but i'm bleeding

so it doesn't count

so much drama...so little time