recent dvd rentals

Since i've returned back from Mexico, I've reinstated my NETFLIX habit, so here are some of my recent DVD rentals (warning, possible spoilers...):

THE LIFE AQUATIC WITH STEVE ZISSOU
This movie did not do well in the theaters and it's a shame. maybe i fell for it because i'm a marine biologist and i know all that hoohah that yves jacque costeau was good for the environment is bullshit. i found this completely hysterical. and not the stuff that is obviously funny but the little moments that really showed the little quirks of the characters. bill murray, owen wilson, and klaus KILLED me and i love how they cast that crazy willem dafoe against type.

NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
this movie is so random and so gawwwdamn funny. i think my favorite was the random shit with the llama (who feeds a llama
ham??) and kip, after putting on rollerblades, asking in his little lispy voice "hey napoleon, would you mind pulling me into town?" i had to pause the movie i was laughing so hard.

DIRTY PRETTY THINGS
this was a very good movie. netflix description: "Okwe (Chjwetel Ejiofor), an illegal immigrant working as a night porter at a posh London hotel, stumbles across evidence of a bizarre murder. He and Senay (Audrey Tautou), a Turkish chambermaid -- and fellow undocumented worker -- venture into the city's seedy underworld to find out what happened. Stephen Frears directs this gritty urban thriller." the man who plays Okwe does such an excellent job of portraying untold sadness and dignity without being sappy. and his hidden intelligence and compassion shows up in his ability to give the villian of the story his comeuppance. my only complaint would be audrey tatou. i love her but i wasn't convinced she was a turkish illegal immigrant. but that was minor. the director is stephen frears who directed some other movies i enjoyed like "my beautiful laundrette," "dangerous liaisons," "high fidelity," "prick up your ears," and "the grifters."

FAT ACTRESS

this is some funny shit. first of all i love how she is making fun of herself and the culture of skinniness and the double standards of hollywood. and for me, the bonus is, she's a BEAUTIFUL woman. sure, she's overweight, but i guess for me, it wouldn't really matter how big she was. i've harbored a giant crush on her for years and if she showed up at my house i'd feed her and fuck her in a heart beat.


oh and that little cutie on the left. yeah, i normally don't do blondes but she is so dry and cute and funny in the show. meeoowwwwww


REVIEW BELOW NOT FOR MONKEY EYES!!!

TROUBLE EVERY DAY
I had heard about this movie a long time ago and because it's an independent small movie by a french director i just assumed that i would only ever see it on DVD since it wouldn't be showing anywhere near where i live. it finally became available and i bumped it up my queue.

o
m
g

this is quite the disturbing movie. i found a review of it on salon.com which i will insert here:

"Directed by Claire Denis
Starring Vincent Gallo, Tricia Vessey, Béatrice Dalle, Alex Descas, Florence Loiret-Caille

By Andrew O'Hehir

March 6, 2002  |  If we're seeing an unexpected renaissance of art movies from all over the world -- and I think we are -- then surely French filmmaker Claire Denis is one of this minimovement's patron saints. Her films offer elliptical narratives with little notion of closure, a languorous, often dangerous eroticism and a desire to inhabit and subvert the conventions of genre movies: mysteries, thrillers, romances. For the most part, "Trouble Every Day" is a moody, troubling work, masterfully photographed, that drifts from one gray Parisian incident to another in the rootless spirit of Wim Wenders and Jim Jarmusch, Denis' acknowledged mentors.

But be forewarned: "Trouble Every Day" has more in store than 1970s-style urban angst, its paranoid '70s-style plot about a dark scientific secret or, for that matter, star Vincent Gallo's '70s-style "Serpico" 'do. This is a sexual knife-twister, somewhat in the tradition of David Cronenberg's "Crash" (and, even more so, "The Brood") or Nagisa Oshima's "In the Realm of the Senses." Like those films, it's being released unrated by the MPAA, so most Americans outside big cities and college towns won't be able to see it at all, and when it appears on video Blockbuster won't carry it.

Watching "Trouble Every Day," at least if you don't know what's coming, is like biting into what looks like a juicy, delicious plum on a hot summer day and coming away with your mouth full of rotten pulp and living worms. I don't quite know whether the characters in this film are cannibals or vampires or symbolic representations of a diseased culture or some combination of the three. I do know that "Trouble Every Day" contains two of the most difficult scenes I've ever had to sit through: a pair of steamy, anonymous sexual encounters that degenerate into horrible crimes of violence -- lurid spectacles that would challenge the imagination of Herschell Gordon Lewis or H.P. Lovecraft.

As you can probably tell, I haven't made up my mind about "Trouble Every Day." It's the kind of movie that stays in your head a long time, nibbling at your cerebral cortex. But the thing that makes me confident that there's more going on here than exploitation or cruel, arty cynicism is Denis' wrenching sensitivity to pain. In both these scenes, when first a man and then a woman is gruesomely preyed upon by their respective sexual partners, what sticks with you more than the gore, or the sense of powerful, empty compulsion, is the terrible suffering.

I run hot and cold on Denis: I loved her two African films, "Beau Travail" and "Chocolat" (not the cute Johnny Depp-Juliette Binoche vehicle), was perplexed by the neo-noir "I Can't Sleep" and didn't see "Nénette and Boni." But there's no denying the seriousness and distinctiveness of her craft. Like David Lynch, she deals in the dismembered signifiers of Hollywood; in the first few minutes of "Trouble Every Day" we get an alluring femme fatale in a black slip, a van on a deserted side road, a body in a field of weeds, an impassive black man on a motorcycle, a pair of cooing newlyweds on an airplane.

Any viewer can construct a movie out of those elements, and Denis pretty much leaves us to do it. Hers is built with very little dialogue, a series of disconnected Parisian locations and that creepy way she has of bringing you closer and closer to someone's face or body until you feel profoundly uncomfortable. She's not a surrealist, exactly -- the hotel rooms, sterile laboratories and crumbling suburban houses of "Trouble Every Day" are perfectly normal, neutral spaces -- but waking life in her movies nonetheless resembles the dream sequences of Ingmar Bergman or Luis Buñuel.

I haven't introduced you to the characters yet because Denis doesn't let us know much about them for a long time. The sexy woman in the slip is Coré (the feral-looking Béatrice Dalle), wife of the man on the motorcycle, who turns out to be a defrocked doctor named Léo (Alex Descas). She has an unfortunate habit of sneaking out and pulling a black-widow routine on random men, so Léo has to go collect her, wash the blood off her lovingly and lock her in the house, with her bedroom door nailed shut.

And what does all that have to do with Shane (Gallo), the haunted-looking American who has brought his pixyish bride, June (Tricia Vessey), across the pond for a City of Light honeymoon? Well, probably something, since Shane locks himself in the bathroom to jerk off rather than making love to June and keeps mumbling strange things to her, like "Are you frightened?" and "I would never hurt you." (I can't figure out which is worse, a husband who says that or one who doesn't.) Again, these people are more like figures in a landscape than characters: Gallo, the star and director of the 1998 indie hit "Buffalo '66," looks like a Nixon-era drug dealer, the very picture of depravity, while Vessey is all adorably tailored, mock-Audrey Hepburn purity.

Denis connects the dots, more or less, at the lab where Léo used to work. Apparently Shane really came to Paris to find him; years ago, they and Coré all worked on some experimental project that went awry in the tropics. This sudden incursion of sci-fi melodrama into a movie that otherwise feels almost plotless is a typical Denis strategy (although it may be misleading to say that anything is typical of her). I guess she's playing with various contemporary menaces and anxieties: biological warfare, the spread of epidemics, sexually transmitted disease. But I don't think it's pitched right; this feels to me like an overly arch ingredient in a work that already teeters on the edge of an aesthetic abyss.

When Shane flees from June, perhaps afraid he will hurt her, and begins doing contradictory things -- buying a cute puppy in a pet store, molesting a middle-aged woman on the Métro -- "Trouble Every Day" seems to be following its natural, if demented, course. How can a man really love his wife and harbor awful fantasies, or stalk the attractive, faintly dissolute chambermaid (Florence Loiret-Caille) who makes their hotel bed?

Yes, "Trouble Every Day" (that's not a translation, by the way; the original title is in English) is a haunting and terrifying film. It's also a film of wonderful spaces and silences. Shortly after we first meet the maid, we watch her preparing to leave work, changing out of her uniform and standing at a sink washing her feet. It's a marvelous little moment, the kind of scene perhaps only Denis could make so tremendously erotic, and so emotionally powerful. Denis makes us pay a price for enjoying such images, a price many viewers will be understandably reluctant to pay. Whatever you make of Denis' movies, she never wants you to leave the theater unmoved or unshaken. She wants to turn you on and mess you up. She wants -- there's no better way to say this -- to fuck with your mind. And she's always going to be the one on top."

i may not have exactly liked this movie, and i was completely shocked by the two gory scenes he talks about. but besides being shocked i was also curious as to how exactly they overpower their victims. not once were they strapped down and it seemed to me that they had plenty of opportunity to fight back at almost any time before their deaths. and so maybe that makes it so disturbing, not just that the violent sex and bloody death of these individuals but that they did nothing to stop their own deaths. and of course, like many smaller non-hollywood movies, things are not so neatly wrapped up and what research that took place that may have led to these people being this way is never explained at all. you don't know if their "sickness" is the result of the research going wrong, or if they had this affliction and the research was conducted in hopes of curing them but failed.

OH AND NO NASTY COMMENTS FROM MONKEY...I WARNED YOU!!

sister, sister

so, my little sister has returned to our humble abode with her two kids in tow. granted her husband was recalled to iraq after he had clearly finished his entire commitment to the army and after declining several times to reinstate, they finally, forcibly reinstated him. that sucks, i agree. although they did vote for bush....

so, instead of staying at her HOUSE, which her and her husband just bought, and each of her two kids has their own room, and friends, and a school, my sister uproots her kids and moves them cross-country to my gran's house and is now living in 80% of the house.

i could go on and on about how when i'm here i have to confine anything i own to storage and limit my personal effects anywhere, which is fine, i understand it's gran's house. but for some reason when she's here, she not only takes over the entire house but her kids as well AND gets to move in all her stuff. grrrrrr

her husband drove them out here and he's actually a very nice person and my sister must be GRRRR-EAT in bed because she treats him like shit... in his short time here at gran's he helped me with my boat and also weed-whacked the weeds that came back after gran paid the weedwhacker. my sister, hmmm, not so much.

one day after he was done weedwhacking i got him a big beer of the assy kind he likes and offered it to him. he hesitated and then said, oh i don't drink anymore. and my jaw hit the floor. i said "why not? they're going to make you quit in a week anyway when you go back in the army." he said, no thanks and then mumbled damn that looks really good.

i thought nothing of it after that until my grandma told me that in tennessee they converted to mormonism and now they don't drink or smoke. which, good for them if that's what they want. it just cracks me up about my sister. i mean, people accuse me of being a lush but at least i can HANDLE my alcohol. my sister is quite famous for her drunkenness. she's the kind that becomes more flirty and silly and loving and SLURRY and makes no attempt whatsoever to NOT appear drunk. and when you say, hey you should maybe not drink anymore then you better watch out because she will STAB you with whatever she can get her hands on. such a jekyll and hyde. one time my cousins called me to come get her and she was just BONDING with this new girl she barely knew and counseling her on getting rid of that man *snap* and crying with her and when i showed up to get her she immediately hopped on my lap and hugged me and just told me how musch sheeee sllloved meeeee. i knew she was hammered. and then i was the bitch for trying to take her home because she was HELPING her BEST FRIEND through a hard time.

and of course now i'm just waiting for it because there's noone in my family who doesn't have "ex-smoker" attitudes. you know what i'm talking about right? where they smoked for years and now that they've quit they JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND why you and you and you and you still smoke now that THEY have stopped smoking. my other sister, M, is the same with religion, alcohol, marriage, love, etc. whatever she is into at the moment is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE UNIVERSE and she just CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE can not (insert new thing here). so, my sister M, who is a born-again christian and told me that she was happy my girlfriend broke up with me (i was in such pain at the time from the breakup) because being in that kind of relationship was not what god wanted for me, is soon going to find out that my sister, S, is now a mormon and i CAN'T WAIT for the fireworks. especially since my sister, M, specifically went back to church after a 4 year hiatus because her ex-husband, T, was dating a mormon girl and converting. and M REFUSED, REFUUUUSSED to have her son, H, exposed to that and if T was going to INSIST upon taking H to the mormon church with him then she, M, was absolutely going to expose H to EVERY RELIGION be it buddhism, muslim, suicide nike cults, christianity, etc and then H can make up his own mind. the irony is that she never went past christian, but OF COURSE, being christian is FAR superior to T's mormon church.

ANYWAYYYYYYYY

so S had been here like two days and already it's a madhouse with the kids. and the kids are not so bad. it's HER! she fucking yells at them like you would not believe. and she is so like my mother it's scary. so that's sending me on a bad trip there. ack.

so one morning i'm walking into the kitchen and S is YELLING at her eldest daughter, K, that she is just faking it and to JUST EAT IT!!!! and to KNOCK IT OFF!!! and i'm thinking shit i have NOT had coffee yet and she's already started on them. so as i'm walking by gran says "well you know S, aqua has always had a problem with gagging and not eating certain texture things." so i said, yeah it's true, as flavorful as berries are i still have a problem with the texture of them and i've al..." MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! she is faking it and blah blah blah. so i made coffee and left.

then later, the possum that got into the garage had come back and S wanted help so i was making a way for him to get out amongst all her boxes and get her the shop vac so she could vacuum her truck and gran started to say something and then realized she didn't want to say it in front of S's daughter K. so she stopped herself and said "i'll tell you later." but S woudln't let it go and kept badgering her and so i said (because i KNEW what she was going to say and i KNEW that she didn't want to say it in front of K because it involved her father (who is a different man than the man S is currently married to - are you keeping up here?) "S, don't worry about it. it's not a big deal, gran will just tell you later."

so i finished with the possum ordeal (which may be in another post soon) and went back into the laundry room (where i have to keep my computer and it's dirty and gross but gran didn't want my "office-y" stuff upstairs, but now their EVERY thing shit is upstairs....) and started working again.

S comes in and says, "aqua, i don't want to argue with you about this but i have something to say. i would appreciate it if you would mind your own business and not butt into my conversations."

whu?

"this morning you interrupted while i was discipling K and just now with gran you interrupted. when i'm talking to one person it is not your place to butt into that conversation if you are not a part of that conversation."

excuse me?

"and so i would appreciate it if you would not do that because it it not your place to do it."

my place?????!!!!!!

and i said "S, excuse me, i'm an adult and to begin with i WILL do exactly what i want to do. second, gran SAID MY NAME and pointed at me as i walked in the kitchen so I RESPONDED. third,..."

"see you're arguing and i'm just saying that it's not your place and you should butt out."

"ok, missy i don't know what your trip is, but i live here too and you're not going to come in here and tell me 'my PLACE' and tell me how i'm to behave and how i'm to live. YOU don't have that right. PLUS, i wasn't BUTTING in. i WAS THERE and part of conversation and i WILL be a part of conversation WHEN it suits me."

so, as you can see, things for me, well, they're lookin' up....

going out on a limb

when i returned from mexico i was in a state of no t.v. bliss. i had gone through three months of depravation and i thought, you know, i don't need this shit. and it was TOOOOOTALLY true...in MEXICO.

apparently, while staying at my friend's house in la jolla as my "halfway house" from mexico research back to the "real world" i fell right back into my junkie t.v. addiction.

i'm a whore

what can i say?

ok, i can say this:

W
T
F?

i turned on the t.v. and as much as i thought reality t.v. had taken over before i realized i had no clue. i couldn't believe the GLUT of shows. but i waded my through the madness and gained full control over the remote the short amount of time i was a guest in my friend's home.

i'm not only a whore, i don't share well either....

ANYwayyyy....

one of the new shows (to me, screw you if you're already an expert on this show, get your own gawdamn blog and buy your girlfriend that creme so her pussy doesn't smell...)

*ahem*

BLOW OUT on BRAVO. have you SEEN IT???

omg, i was laughing my ass off. and one of the promos i saw was CARSON (who i LOVE!) saying something about BRAVO finding a STRAIGHT male hairdresser, and i thought NFW!

and then i saw jonathan, and i thought, AGAIN! NO.FUCKING.WAY! he's so gay, i mean COME ON! he's channeling MORRISSEY!! for fuck's sake i mean LOOK!!!




AND THEN, i watched the show. and

not only is he GAY!!!!!! (NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! I MEAN I'M GAY FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!)

but i realized he is also

UNFROZEN
CAVEMAN
LAWYER!!!!



and don't get me wrong, i don't think unfrozen caveman lawyer is gay (NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT! I MEAN I'M GAY FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!) i'm just saying that if you've seen jonathan's show AND you've seen UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER you CAN NOT help yourself to the comparison.

i've only seen the show maybe 4 times, and at the end of every show this guy says (and i CAN'T quote but i can definitely give you the jist by all means) in his baritone, lispy voice "at the end of the day, i'm just a hairdresser. i may not know much (and he may be wiping tears away at this point as well...) but i do know GREAT. HAIR. (either tears or triumphant sexy look)"

and then the show ends.

and i SWEAR I FELL OUT LAUGHING. i thought it was a parody! I THOUGHT they swiped UNFROZEN CAVEMAN LAWYER and took that concept to BRAVO for a MORRISSY-esque UNFROZEN STRAIGHT HAIRDRESSER!

and until i found out it was ALL REALITY SHOW! i thought it was
FUCKING
BRILLIANT

sigh

i'm in such a general malaise i can't even work it up to be stressed about all the shit that i need to do and am not doing and am not motivated to do.

blech

last week i was listening to a local radio show and that day's topic was pet cloning
the topic was pet cloning. and i'm way against it.

for so MANY reasons, the least of which is that there are thousands of pets that need good homes at so many shelters across the US i really don't see the need to CLONE pre-existing pets. it just seems sick. and it's soooo expensive ($1600.00USD just to BANK the tissue...that doesn't even pay for the cloning), that money could be put to better use, LIKE giving a home to a few animals that need one.

and i'm against it for some other "touchy-feely" reasons, namely if it's so easy to clone something based upon characteristics that are perceived as "good," then what makes anything special? and on top of that, only people with $50,000USD disposable income get to decide what is "good."

i'm thinking about this more intensely because, i may soon be faced with the decision to put down my beloved dog, kayla. her kidneys are failing and she's old, for a dog (13+). i know in my head she's had a good life, and she's been such an amazing dog, and i don't think i could ever replace her. and i don't think i'm supposed to, because then what value did her life have to begin with? if she is so "easily," albeit, expensively replaced. or at least genetically replaced. which brings up another issue, there's not one iota of a guarantee that the clone would be remotely like the original behaviourally, and isn't that essentially the point? i mean i could go out and look at thousands of golden retrievers and find maybe 3 that look just like her but they wouldn't be HER.

anyway, i was thinking about what a vulnerable place people are emotionally during a time like this and i can only imagine that's when it would be easy to take advantage of them in that state and get them (if they have it) to plunk down the cash for this "service."

i mean seriously, i've been wrecked over the last week dealing with kayla and the vet and this decision. yesterday at work i puked my guts up (which i NEVER do - i hate throwing up) and one minute i was ok and the next i was running for the back room filling the trash can. i'm just so tied up inside about this and my heart is breaking. it's the kind of thing where if you think about it in the abstract, like, i know when my dog gets old i may have to put her down, but when you're here in the moment, what makes it worse is the kick to the gut with the realization it is sooo much harder than you EVER imagined and you wonder how you're going to handle it. and then you vomit at work and you realize, hmmm, you're NOT handling this.

so, in my state, looking at her, bawling my eyes out i can't help the thoughts that sneak in my head. isn't there ANYTHING i can do? and then i think if i had a couple of hundred thousand around would i do it? and would i only be doing it to assuage my guilt for having to put her down. kind of like convincing myself i'll be bringing her back to life...

i don't know. for the most part i don't think so, because something else comes in and tells me i won't be getting another dog for a very very very very long time, and the major reason for that is that i know there will NEVER be another dog like her.

oh!oh!oh!

and i SERIOUSLY HEART iTUNES, and my beautifulperfectnotaPC MINIMAC!

ANDandAND my new BLUE iPOD mini that will be arriving in a few days.....

whooops! was that last part out loud?

creeepy, but in a good way (i think?)

so, between all the shit that i've had to do lately (unload the mexico van, clean it, return it, load all my shit into storage, help prepare room for my sister and her kids to get to gran's, research, working at the farm...) i've been loading all my CD's into iTunes. now that i have a sufficient amount of them in i put on "party shuffle" and continued to clean and work.

well, i was stopped dead in my tracks by a song and i wish somehow i knew how to put the audio up here but i can paste the lyrics i googled and got off the artist's site (http://www.thethe.com/sections/library/lyricbook/armageddon.html). it's actually a kick-ass song and i remembered it was one of my favorites of theirs (oh, the group is called THE THE)but i was struck so much by the lyrics and how the more things change, the more they stay the same. see for yourself:

"ARMAGEDDON DAYS (are here again)

They're 5 miles high
As the crow flies
Leavin' vapour trails
Across a blood red sky
Movin' in from the East
Towards the West
With balaclava helmets
Over their heads
YES!

But if you think that Jesus Christ is coming
Honey, you've got another thing coming
If he ever finds out who's hijacked his name
He'll cut out his heart and turn in his grave

Islam is rising
The Christians mobilising
The world is on it's elbows and knees
It's forgotten the message
And worships the creeds

"It's War" she cried
"It's War" she cried
"This is War!"
Drop your possessions
All you simple folk
You will fight them on the beaches
in your underclothes
You will thank the good lord
For raising the Union Jack
You'll watch the ships sail out of harbour
And the bodies come floating back
Watch the ships sail out of harbour
And the bodies come floating back

If the real Jesus Christ were to stand up today
He'd be gunned down cold by the C.I.A.
Oh, the lights that now burn brightest
Behind stained glass
Will cast the darkest shadows
Upon the human heart
But God didn't build himself that throne
God doesn't live in Israel or Rome
God doesn't belong to the Yankee dollar
God doesn't plant the bombs for Hezbollah
God doesn't even go to church
And God won't send us down to Allah to burn
God will remind us what we already know
That the human race is about to reap what it's sown

Islam is rising
The Christians mobilising
The world is on it's elbows and knees
It's forgotten the message
And worships the creeds
The world is on it's elbows and knees
It's forgotten the message
And worships the creeds

Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon days are here again
Armageddon Days Are HERE!!!

Copyright ©2004 Lazarus Limited. All rights reserved."

I know that copyright up there says 2004, but that song was released in the early 90's, if not the late 80's. sorry i don't have a more exact date at this time, but i do have my memories of it and i know for sure that i was working for a certain print publication in sacramento where i met the couple that introduced me to thethe, since ,of course, theTHE didn't match any top40 format they rarely got radio play in sacramento. but these friends (she worked with me, he visited her at work alot) were bay area transplants and the last couple of weeks there he taped their favorite radio station and made these absolutely kickass compilation tapes. they also had an amazing music collection (well, he more than she) but at any rate, i started that job in 1987 and finally left to transfer to UCSC in 1997. if i'm not mistaken we all hung out quite a bit from '89-92. (i'm still friends with them, in fact i think i've posted about their horses and peeing in their yard and that he's a bigger tori amos fan than i, which is nearly unbelievable to people who know me...)

what?

anyway, the bottom line is that this song is about 13-15 years old, and beyond the kickass music, the lyrics are still relevant today.

COMING SOON!

i've restarted my NETFLIX membership and have MOVIE REVIEWS COMING!! how excited are you?

don't answer that...

she hate me

**note: this post was started on march 30, 2005, before i left for my research trip. i just never got to finish it how i liked, and i didn't now either but, well, fuck it...heh**

i had heard so much flak about this movie that, of course, i had to watch it. and **spoiler alert**

the controversy that i heard the most centered around a man impregnating multiple lesbians for money and of course this infuriating the "lesbian community." well i'm not familiar with this "lesbian community" which i think was the same one that protested over BASIC INSTINCT because it was portraying a bisexual murderer and they were tired of that portrayal. i felt very naive at the time because i did not know that lesbians and bisexuals being portrayed as unhinged murderers was common. i still can't think of any examples and that may not be because they don't exist, but i'm just unaware of them. and if anyone else can think of any feel free to post them in comments. so i felt pretty sheltered by protests i felt were ridiculous and probably only served to boast movie proceeds.

so, i wanted to see what this movie was about. and once again i find myself divided in trying to review this movie, it's hard to review it just as a movie without trying to review with regard to the lesbians and as a "lesbian" movie.

first the main story, which in itself is difficult to describe since it feels like you could make 5-6 different movies from all the plotlines. it starts as our "hero" jack is a biotech executive, unmarried, very ambitious when his friend and colleague commits suicide and thus revealing misdeeds commited by the company's managment. jack decides to become a whistleblower and turns them in. well, they of course have all the pull and jack is fired and his assets frozen.

so then his ex-girlfriend shows up at his door with her new girlfriend offering to pay him to inseminate them both. he, of course, is offended. at first...

what begins as a single time turns into a lucrative little business, with his ex-girlfriend bringing over other "lesbians" who want to be inseminated. oh, and did i mention? he doesn't jack off into a cup. no.no.no.

he FUCKS ALL OF THEM. and to make it even more incredulous, the ex brings over 5-6 dykes like for 2-3 nights in a row. oh, and they ALL CUM.

they all get pregnant, he has to testify in front of some congressional committee and in the end he gets off (again..hehe), he has some weird reconciliation with his girlfriend (wanting to be part of this new family, and the girlfriend is expected to be ok...blech) and in a flashforward has two little sons with the lesbians and then there's pictures of all his other offspring.

there were a TON of things i had to say about this movie regardless of the multiple plotlines and the disappointing fact (don't know if it's completely true) that Tristan Taormino was the "consultant" for the lesbian sex scenes...tsk tsk tristan...

for another review of this movie go to a more reliable source.

heh

a few things of note today

over the 4th of july weekend i started back at the berry farm, i gave up on the assy DELL computer and ordered a *pinky to chin* MINImac, and i housesat at my friends and swam in their pool naked and bbq'ed (on the bbq - NOT in the pool...duh).

meaning, really, i have (HAD - see mini mac comment above) a little cash in hand, got a new toy, and burnt my titties (but not the steak)

heh

today i splurged part II

i'm lmfao because when said special person received/knew of my effort her only response was (happily, don't get me wrong...), "oh, i read your blog and i thought you got me ho-hos."

i guess that's the lesbian equivalent to "you had me at hello"

heh