you knew it couldnt last

aaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

ok i dont want to generalize because i hate what about i'm about to say but i dont know if it's a man-woman thing or a maturity thing but i'm about to pop his cork. i appreciate that we haven't been able to get a lot of work done and we're cramped in this room together with no kitchen and for the most part he's been cool about a lot of things but let me tell you one thing, i don't know ALL the answers but i've been coming to baja plenty and i do KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M DOING! i've driven a boat millions of times, i've used this engine MILLIONS of times.

and trust me i'm open to suggestions, but don't be so fucking condescending and act like i don't know what i'm doing. and feel free to make suggestions but remember if i don't take your suggestions, at the very least RESPECT MY FUCKING WISHES. don't fucking scoff. because, yes, part of working in mexico is being flexible and sometimes slow, and noone is more frustrated than i that i keep hitting roadblocks because GUESS WHO'S PAYING?? FOR EVERY GAWWWWWWDAMN DAY THAT I'M NOT GETTING WORK DONE I'M STILL PAYING FOR THE FOOD AND THE HOUSING AND FOR WHATEVER ELSE NEEDS DONE.

and this is a small fucking town! i mean all the guys i met last year that i got fish from, totally remember me. and when something goes wrong, if i talk to them they already know it. so please fucking behave and if i ask you NOT to set up the stove on the porch or leave your shit laying around because we're just renting a room and it is NOT our house and believe it or not in spite of seeing a lot of trash some places, mexicans that own property or own things keep them fastidiously clean. look at all the women that get up at 6 in the fucking morning no matter how shanty like their house looks to sweep out their house and sweep the walk and street in front of their house. so i find that if you leave ice chests, dirty dishes your wrenches, your cups your chair and all your shoes out on the porch that is totally visible to the street it is disrespectful to the people who own it and who make sure their stuff looks nice from the street. so when i ask you to please pick up and not leave shit on the porch don't SCOFF at me and act like i'm making a big deal out of nothing. this is a SMALL town and ALOT of the work i have gotten done is with the help of the people who live here and i plan on coming back year after year so you may be the ugly american and never come back here or depend upon the hospitality or generousity of the people you meet here so be it but FUCKING do not disrespect my wishes in this regard.

*deep breath*

ok i just had to get that out.

beating a dead horse

***this post was started before i left and now i'm just posting it to get it out of the "draft" folder. it's not the complete diatribe i intended to write but you getm y point...***

i was a bit hesitant about posting this but i'm so bugged that i just can't get AWAY from it. it's everywhere on the news and it's just saturating everything i come in contact with in spite of the fact that i hardly watch any tv, it's still EVERYWHERE!!

so many may already know that terry schiavo has passed away. and i say, about time.

and i've had many questions for people who are "religious" and subscribe to this idea of "sanctity of life" or "culture of life" but you can't ask anyone these questions without getting screamed at or scoffing. and i really have these questions. and of course, because i'm not a born-again christian they don't have to talk to me about it cuz i'm going to hell. and i think, DUH! i know the busdriver!! that doesn't mean i don't have questions you morons.

*ahem*

anyway, i haven't written them down yet but i have verbally made my wishes clear to my grandma, which are in the case of major injury where i am in a vegetative state then they are to keep my on lifesupport until i'm a size 8, then unplug me.

don't look at me like that. i already tolllld you that i'm going to hell. sheesh.

anyway, seriously though, i have two thoughts/questions regarding terry schiavo and the political/religious hoohah encircling her.

1) this is in regards to this idea of "culture of life/sanctity of life." since when did christians claim this notion as their own? why is it only christians that think they espouse this idea as a group?
and, are they aware of how incredibly hypocritical they are? for example, and i've said this before, george bush has sent thousands of our own citizens to be killed and to KILL thousands of other humans across the globe in iraq, and under a false pretense. if sanctity of life was so important to him then why didn't he make double gawdamn sure he knew what the fuck he was talking about before sending them? also, this makes me think, well maybe there's only sanctity of life for those white christians in the united states and not for those brown islamic/muslim/shia/kurdish (enter non-christian religion here). also, george w. bush executed more criminals as governor than ANY other governor ever, even RETARDS. he had no problem whatsoever executing retards AND he even made a statement saying that he fully believed that that everyone there on death row deserved to be there and had full access to all the courts and they will be executed. in spite of the mounting evidence that many defense attorneys were extremely derelict in their duty and the criminal was RETARDED and obviously couldn't help much in their own defense. but, again, apparently only special sections of the population fall under "sanctity of life" protection.

i also have a problem with the sanctity of life not only being applicable to just a small segment of society but only relevant to people in general. i am a biologist and a conservationist: i study and work to PRESERVE LIFE. and it appalls me that christians believe they have been given dominion over life.
Bill Moyers
http://www.commondreams.org/views04/1206-10.htm gave an excellent speech about the christian right and conservation.

2) if you're a "christian" and you've been born-again, and having done so are guaranteed eternity in heaven with god, then why is death something to be avoided or afraid of? answer me that!

where's a cop when you need one?

$185 dollars later i've replaced my headlight.

wtF???

since counter boy at kragen didn't have the item i needed i went to the dealership thinking, damn this is going to be like $50 or something.

i go to parts and ask for what i need. he says, yes we have one in stock it'll be here tomorrow morning from the warehouse if you want it.

"how much?"

"just the lens and the houseing.....um, let's see $154 plus tax."

*jaw hits floor*

but what the hell can i do i HAVE to replace it cuz i need the ticket signed off. so i order it. and of course because i can't get it until tomorrow, that throws my tomorrow plans (which i have tons of) off.

so now that's it's fixed i have seen about 50 cops driving around and i want to honk and wave them down. but then i'm afraid to thinking "oh, wait i can't. i'm drunk."