sister, sister

so, my little sister has returned to our humble abode with her two kids in tow. granted her husband was recalled to iraq after he had clearly finished his entire commitment to the army and after declining several times to reinstate, they finally, forcibly reinstated him. that sucks, i agree. although they did vote for bush....

so, instead of staying at her HOUSE, which her and her husband just bought, and each of her two kids has their own room, and friends, and a school, my sister uproots her kids and moves them cross-country to my gran's house and is now living in 80% of the house.

i could go on and on about how when i'm here i have to confine anything i own to storage and limit my personal effects anywhere, which is fine, i understand it's gran's house. but for some reason when she's here, she not only takes over the entire house but her kids as well AND gets to move in all her stuff. grrrrrr

her husband drove them out here and he's actually a very nice person and my sister must be GRRRR-EAT in bed because she treats him like shit... in his short time here at gran's he helped me with my boat and also weed-whacked the weeds that came back after gran paid the weedwhacker. my sister, hmmm, not so much.

one day after he was done weedwhacking i got him a big beer of the assy kind he likes and offered it to him. he hesitated and then said, oh i don't drink anymore. and my jaw hit the floor. i said "why not? they're going to make you quit in a week anyway when you go back in the army." he said, no thanks and then mumbled damn that looks really good.

i thought nothing of it after that until my grandma told me that in tennessee they converted to mormonism and now they don't drink or smoke. which, good for them if that's what they want. it just cracks me up about my sister. i mean, people accuse me of being a lush but at least i can HANDLE my alcohol. my sister is quite famous for her drunkenness. she's the kind that becomes more flirty and silly and loving and SLURRY and makes no attempt whatsoever to NOT appear drunk. and when you say, hey you should maybe not drink anymore then you better watch out because she will STAB you with whatever she can get her hands on. such a jekyll and hyde. one time my cousins called me to come get her and she was just BONDING with this new girl she barely knew and counseling her on getting rid of that man *snap* and crying with her and when i showed up to get her she immediately hopped on my lap and hugged me and just told me how musch sheeee sllloved meeeee. i knew she was hammered. and then i was the bitch for trying to take her home because she was HELPING her BEST FRIEND through a hard time.

and of course now i'm just waiting for it because there's noone in my family who doesn't have "ex-smoker" attitudes. you know what i'm talking about right? where they smoked for years and now that they've quit they JUST CANNOT UNDERSTAND why you and you and you and you still smoke now that THEY have stopped smoking. my other sister, M, is the same with religion, alcohol, marriage, love, etc. whatever she is into at the moment is THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE UNIVERSE and she just CANNOT UNDERSTAND HOW ANYONE can not (insert new thing here). so, my sister M, who is a born-again christian and told me that she was happy my girlfriend broke up with me (i was in such pain at the time from the breakup) because being in that kind of relationship was not what god wanted for me, is soon going to find out that my sister, S, is now a mormon and i CAN'T WAIT for the fireworks. especially since my sister, M, specifically went back to church after a 4 year hiatus because her ex-husband, T, was dating a mormon girl and converting. and M REFUSED, REFUUUUSSED to have her son, H, exposed to that and if T was going to INSIST upon taking H to the mormon church with him then she, M, was absolutely going to expose H to EVERY RELIGION be it buddhism, muslim, suicide nike cults, christianity, etc and then H can make up his own mind. the irony is that she never went past christian, but OF COURSE, being christian is FAR superior to T's mormon church.

ANYWAYYYYYYYY

so S had been here like two days and already it's a madhouse with the kids. and the kids are not so bad. it's HER! she fucking yells at them like you would not believe. and she is so like my mother it's scary. so that's sending me on a bad trip there. ack.

so one morning i'm walking into the kitchen and S is YELLING at her eldest daughter, K, that she is just faking it and to JUST EAT IT!!!! and to KNOCK IT OFF!!! and i'm thinking shit i have NOT had coffee yet and she's already started on them. so as i'm walking by gran says "well you know S, aqua has always had a problem with gagging and not eating certain texture things." so i said, yeah it's true, as flavorful as berries are i still have a problem with the texture of them and i've al..." MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS! she is faking it and blah blah blah. so i made coffee and left.

then later, the possum that got into the garage had come back and S wanted help so i was making a way for him to get out amongst all her boxes and get her the shop vac so she could vacuum her truck and gran started to say something and then realized she didn't want to say it in front of S's daughter K. so she stopped herself and said "i'll tell you later." but S woudln't let it go and kept badgering her and so i said (because i KNEW what she was going to say and i KNEW that she didn't want to say it in front of K because it involved her father (who is a different man than the man S is currently married to - are you keeping up here?) "S, don't worry about it. it's not a big deal, gran will just tell you later."

so i finished with the possum ordeal (which may be in another post soon) and went back into the laundry room (where i have to keep my computer and it's dirty and gross but gran didn't want my "office-y" stuff upstairs, but now their EVERY thing shit is upstairs....) and started working again.

S comes in and says, "aqua, i don't want to argue with you about this but i have something to say. i would appreciate it if you would mind your own business and not butt into my conversations."

whu?

"this morning you interrupted while i was discipling K and just now with gran you interrupted. when i'm talking to one person it is not your place to butt into that conversation if you are not a part of that conversation."

excuse me?

"and so i would appreciate it if you would not do that because it it not your place to do it."

my place?????!!!!!!

and i said "S, excuse me, i'm an adult and to begin with i WILL do exactly what i want to do. second, gran SAID MY NAME and pointed at me as i walked in the kitchen so I RESPONDED. third,..."

"see you're arguing and i'm just saying that it's not your place and you should butt out."

"ok, missy i don't know what your trip is, but i live here too and you're not going to come in here and tell me 'my PLACE' and tell me how i'm to behave and how i'm to live. YOU don't have that right. PLUS, i wasn't BUTTING in. i WAS THERE and part of conversation and i WILL be a part of conversation WHEN it suits me."

so, as you can see, things for me, well, they're lookin' up....