i am so totally better than you

today i was yahooing a friend and for fun we started making fun of lesbian personal ads and their pictures, cuz she said that's what she and another friend do. yes we are totally evil and no you cannot hang out with us.

anyway, reading the profiles i realized that if i read "i am honest, looking for honesty" one more freaking time i was going to puke. so i've devised my anti-profile. here it is:

"USE ME, ABUSE ME, YOU'LL NEVER LOSE ME
i try to be honest but i just can't but i'll pretend to be just long enough for you to fall in love with me. don't introduce me to your cute friends cuz i'll just try to fuck them. in fact, get rid of all your friends and become wholly dependent upon me. when i fuck up i'll blame it on you. i have lots of issues and will run real fucking hot and cold on you. i drink like it's an athletic event i've been training for all my life. what else? um, i think that's it. call me."

you know you want me