family drama
and they're not even lesbians!
hee
oh i'm not going to get into the details here exactly because it's all just so infuriating. and so much backstory, YEARS of backstory. but the jist of it is that gran is a "hold it all in until you can't no more and then BLOW UP! and say the nastiest shit and drag up the last six months of random things you didn't even know pissed her off"
*ahem*
so i've told her in the past, if you think i'm talking down to you, then tell me when it's happening. because, i don't mean to do it, and i'm obvioulsy not aware of it. and she yells "ok i'm telling you now" and proceeds to tell me how fucked up i am and i'm not perfect like i think i am (didn't think that, but there was no sense in arguing) on and on and on...
and i'm thinking, ok NOT what i meant, i meant for you to tell me in the instant or soon after if you need to calm down first. and then i can think ok she thought i was talking down to her or being snide when i didn't mean to be and that way i can watch myself and try not to be that way and gran doesn't build up all this frustration.
i also know that not all her frustration has to do with me. and you have to be a genius to figure that out. but i get so frustrated sometimes when she takes it all out on me. i mean my "mother" runs her physically and emotionally ragged. and my "mother" is a rotten human being that doesn't care about anybody but herself. but she dumps all her problems that she's the one responsible for on my gran and gran gets all worked up on her behalf. it probably wouldn't be so bad if it were once a week or so, but it's three to four times a fucking day she calls here and gets gran all worked up. and then steph will call 2-3 times a day and bitch about her life and gets gran all worked up.
then i make one little slip-up and i'm being screamed at in the car about what a horrible fucking person i am.
gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
hee
oh i'm not going to get into the details here exactly because it's all just so infuriating. and so much backstory, YEARS of backstory. but the jist of it is that gran is a "hold it all in until you can't no more and then BLOW UP! and say the nastiest shit and drag up the last six months of random things you didn't even know pissed her off"
*ahem*
so i've told her in the past, if you think i'm talking down to you, then tell me when it's happening. because, i don't mean to do it, and i'm obvioulsy not aware of it. and she yells "ok i'm telling you now" and proceeds to tell me how fucked up i am and i'm not perfect like i think i am (didn't think that, but there was no sense in arguing) on and on and on...
and i'm thinking, ok NOT what i meant, i meant for you to tell me in the instant or soon after if you need to calm down first. and then i can think ok she thought i was talking down to her or being snide when i didn't mean to be and that way i can watch myself and try not to be that way and gran doesn't build up all this frustration.
i also know that not all her frustration has to do with me. and you have to be a genius to figure that out. but i get so frustrated sometimes when she takes it all out on me. i mean my "mother" runs her physically and emotionally ragged. and my "mother" is a rotten human being that doesn't care about anybody but herself. but she dumps all her problems that she's the one responsible for on my gran and gran gets all worked up on her behalf. it probably wouldn't be so bad if it were once a week or so, but it's three to four times a fucking day she calls here and gets gran all worked up. and then steph will call 2-3 times a day and bitch about her life and gets gran all worked up.
then i make one little slip-up and i'm being screamed at in the car about what a horrible fucking person i am.
gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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