things are looking up

today was a nice boost to my (very tiny according to "t") ego.

i gave my talk about my research, what i'm currently hoping to do with my phd and also my book. gave it in a lovely powerpoint presentation and people gave feedback and stuff and asked questions and it was cool.

but if that wasn't enough, the professor (who is a well-known, WELL-respected fish expert) said, "you know, looking at your pictures and hearing about your research again gives me an idea. could you give a talk in my class about your art, and your book and your project? we're getting to the lecture on reef fishes and i think it would be great for you to do it"

and i stand there trying not to blush and trying not to sweat anymore in my blue (DAMMIT I WORE BLUE NOT BLACK! I BROKE MY OWN RULE) shirt and said, oh yeah, i still have some of the slides from when i talked in the lab...

and he says "oh no not the lab, i want you to lecture for the entire class."

*jaw drop*

"um, yeah, sure. i...i..."

"great, 8 am on wednesday. it would be good if you start with some of your own drawings and explain how you illustrate since i like to start all my lectures looking at fish art through history. excellent. see you wednesday morning...good job"

*jaw still on floor*

and i walked away floating. what a change. what a completely different experience with my new professors. makes me wish i had switched advisors sooner, but i try not to dwell on that since it would bring me down again. but seriously, to have a professor say "great job! wonderful project! come lecture in my class" as opposed to, say, your professor always treating your ideas and project with condescension and then trying to flunk you out based upon hearsay.

and although giving the lecture will interrupt my planned "stay-home-sleep-lots-between-watching-movies" vacation i was going to have this week, i'm happy. and proud.

it's such a great feeling of renewed enthusiasm for my work and real possibility for my future that i hadn't felt in a looooooooooooong time.