strange day

today i planned to go have my ex-advisor sign an important paper so i can get some grant money hoohah straightened out. i planned it on tuesday. i bit the bullet. i said i'm doing it thursday. and i emailed for a meeting and he said he would be there.

so i said i would go

i told myself i would go

i was sick

but i pushed it down

so in my own fun and crazy way i deal with impending confrontation (doom) i dream about it all night.

ALL
NIGHT

ack

so i get up thinking about all the scenarios and i try to breath and calm myself. listen to the radio. NPR not calming me down with their iraq death toll and bush re-election scariness. so i reach a part of the trip where the freeway has four lanes and i'm driving along and i'm in the fast lane, to the far left and up ahead, like a strange dream, i see a grey car spin from the far right lane all the way across three lanes and i'm almost positive it's coming at me but for some reaon it spins back across the three lanes and comes to a rest when it hits the barrier past the shoulder separating the freeway from the side streets.

HOLY FUCK! i don't know how she didn't spin into my lane i swear it looked like her trajectory was into my lane and i slowed down considerably and actually went into the gravel in the median when i checked my rearview mirror to check that someone was't barreling into me from behind and when i looked back at the road (merely a split second) and i saw the car going back the other way. too fucking surreal. and, for fuck's sake i do not know how she spun into three lanes of traffic and back without getting hit at least once. i was so scared it was going to happen. but she ended up in the shoulder and i noticed all the traffic way back AND that noone was stopping. so i somehow managed to cross three lanes of NO traffic to pull over. i grabbed my cell phone and ran back to her car.

when i got there i saw she was on the phone already. i asked her if she was ok, and what happened? and do you have help coming. she said yes, and talked on the phone. then she got off the phone and talked to me. she was clearly freaked, understandably freaked. then her phone rang and she said "mom" and then busted into tears "i'm so sorry mom! i'm so sorry! yes i'm ok! i was changing lanes when this guy came out of nowhere so fast behind me and i panicked and overcorrected i'm so sorry about the car mom!" tons of tears. i really felt for her. and i felt awkward. 1000's of cars zooming by in four lanes, you can barely hear anything and she's crying on the phone to her mom. i realize her hazards aren't on so i reach in the car to turn them on and then i go to her and i say, are you sure you're ok? and she says yes she has help on the way and thank you so much for stopping. then she talks into the phone "what? hold on, what's your name?" i tell her and she says thank you so much again for stopping, starts crying again. i tell her it's ok, to take care and stay back as far as possible from the highway. and i head back to my car surrounded by the cacophany of the speeding cars and looking down at all the crap on the road.

i almost cried. i don't know why.

then as i exit the main highway and get on a two lane highway, and it's windy and goes down to a one-lane highway, i'm driving along and i'm behind about 15 cars and we're all winding around this highway and during passing lanes people jockey for a better position and then it resumes to being a one lane highway.

well as the road is curving to the left sharply i happen to see a gold luxurious car riding my ass. and then i look forward and i see all the cars veering to the right and braking. and i think SHIT! not again! and sure enough i come to a stop way on the shoulder of the road barely behind this large, new ford truck i check to see if the broad in the gold car is stopping. she did. then i see the truck guy in a shirt and tie jump out of the truck with his cell. irritated.

so i think i wonder if i can get around him and i see the gold car trying that move before me and i look at her like, um excuse me? so she backs off a bit. and as i pass in the other lane (eek) i see that the truck has plowed into a honda crv and a bit farther up an old lady in a buick (bumper untouched) has pulled over. i didn't see what happened because i was downhill and behind the truck on the curve and so from my little toyota all i saw was the big truck and the trees on both sides almost forming a canopy on the road right before i swerved right. i'm thinking though the old lady missed the turn or something and braked and caught everyone offguard and they all plowed into each other.

i didn't stop this time because i didn't see anything and i saw two of the three had cell phones so i passed them and thought

should i turn around? am i not SUPPOSED to go to the lab today to get this signature? lmao

but i went.

and you know what?

it was uneventful. he was cheerful. didn't argue. said he'd happily sign it. it's for the best. good luck.

i walked out thinking "wow. now when's the other shoe going to drop?"