workworkwork

ok

calm down

you.have.time

today is dec. 23 which means you have 8 weeks to finish the proposal and study for your exam.

FUCK
FUCK
FUCK

is a panic attack self-destructive or is it real. i mean, should i really be panicking? should i really be upset? or do i have plenty of time and i'm just trying to undermine my ability to do it? so that in case i do not do well, i can tell myself well, you really didn't have enough time.

and now what do i do about the date? should i put it off a week? but then that just leaves me a week to get ready for mexico. i hate this. i get too stressed to make decisions. i constantly secondguess myself and undermine my ability to do things well.

i have today to work. part of tomorrow to work. probably won't get any work done on christmas and then i have the 26,27,28,29 here by myself. FOCUS. last week went so well. i was in the lab 10-12 hours at a time and i got a shit load done. but the problem is all my days now need to be 12-15 hour days in order to do this right. i had some real momentum going last week and now it's dissipated.